thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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