dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
