Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
