i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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