You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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