And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Randomize