I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
