There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
