Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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