i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Can you repeat that, but with context?
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