My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
