Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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