i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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