I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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