She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
