The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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