i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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