This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Randomize
