Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
