apparently the secret to your success is patron
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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