she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
