it was like eating out sand paper
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
