Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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