Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
