Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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