i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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