why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
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90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
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I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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