i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Cover your peen. We're going out.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
