I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize