Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
