i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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