When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
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