some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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