Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
