even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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