I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
don't judge my taste in strippers
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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