she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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