Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
