I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
