I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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