She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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