everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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