yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
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