You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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