TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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