I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart