I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?