Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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