life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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