I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
