had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Randomize
