i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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