But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
