Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
you had me at cake vodka
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
