Yo dont text me then not text me
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
