Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize