I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Randomize
