shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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