he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
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All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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