Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize