Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
