Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
