I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
