somebody snuck up and got me drunk
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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