i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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