I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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