so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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