whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
