you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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